Your Couples Specialist:

Couples often wonder why the negative emotions in relationships can have such intensity – Small problems escalate to big arguments, the disconnection that has evolved is fraught with pain and the hurt seems like a wound that is stubborn to heal. Indeed, the strong feelings between couples are real – as is the fear they often express that their relationship can’t improve. And, yes, your strongest emotions are going to be with your partner.

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We turn to the internet for all kinds of help, including relationship advice.
However, with so many sources of information, how can you be certain the help you're seeing will be valid? In other words, is what you're reading going to be genuinely helpful?

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You feel a difference when marriage problems begin: You might be arguing more (often about small things), you feel less emotional connection to each other, intimacy may have declined and you find you avoid talking about your relationship.

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When any type of cheating occurs in a relationship, there are two levels of pain: The first stems from the cheating or betrayal itself; the second from the lies and deceit that took place to cover up the betrayal.

Cheating, for most couples, is the ultimate hurt. Most people will say -- until it happens to them -- that cheating would be the ultimate "last straw." However, many couples also seek to try to recover, to renew their bond with each other and to strengthen their relationship.

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Insecure, or anxious attachment, can come between you and your partner, creating arguments, lack of trust and have both of you baffled about how to cope with these strong emotions.

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In this article, I'll help you understand why emotional intimacy is so important to your relationship, how distance may have started to come between you and I'll share some ideas from my years of helping couples to regain the closeness you once enjoyed.

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Jealousy in relationships often brings couples to counseling because the insecurities become disruptive and threaten the emotional connection.

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Remember the days when your love was new, and you could spend hours talking, looking into each other's eyes and experiencing the intense feelings of caring and desire for your partner?

In those early days, you were forming an important attachment. Your partner was becoming the most important person in your adult life. Just as you bonded with your parents when you were an infant and young child, the attachment you form with your mate is powerful, compelling and seems as important as breathing.

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From the research, and just as importantly, from what I hear from the couples I work with, we know that the most fulfilling relationships have many qualities. Couples seek:

- To be able to turn to their partner when they need comfort, understanding and to feel genuinely loved. To know that our partner can be fully attentive and give us the time we need.

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When sexting is discovered, arguments often ensue: The sexting partner defends his or her actions as innocent fun, nothing serious and not anything his or her partner should worry about.
A Note: The content of the texts or emails does not have to be sexual for a partner to become upset. Continuous contact with someone outside the relationship of the opposite gender can feel threatening -- particularly when done in secret.

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Aware Counseling

Linda R. Schwartz, M.Ed., LPC

Aware Counseling & Consulting, LLC

1130 E. Missouri, Phoenix 85014

9260 E. Raintree Drive, Scottsdale 85260

Email Linda